Dream-casting the Rocky Horror remake with the cast of Orange is the New Black

I said there would be posts about TV!

The announcement that Laverne Cox will play Dr. Frank N. Furter in an upcoming Rocky Horror Picture Show remake made me wonder: what if Rocky Horror were case entirely with Orange Is the New Black actors? Here's how I would do it:

  • Dr. Frank N. Furter .... Laverne Cox (Sophia)
  • Janet ... Taylor Schilling (Piper) obvs.
  • Brad ... Jason Biggs (Larry) is the obvious choice here, or possibly Matt McGorry (Bennett). But I could also see Samira Wiley (Poussey) capturing the hapless and bewildered, yet oddly judgmental Brad of it all, and then it would be an all-female cast!
  • Rocky ... Ruby Rose (Stella). She isn't super muscular, but I could see her showing off by lifting weights, and she'd look great in a gold bikini.
  • Riff Raff ... Uzo Aduba (Suzanne). I feel like she could really sell both sides of Riff, the creepy dogsbody and the reproachful spaceman.
  • Magenta ... Taryn Manning (Pennsatucky). "You're lucky, she's lucky, I'm lucky, we're all lucky!" (hideously unnerving cackle)
  • Columbia ... Yael Stone (Morello) using the exact same over-the-top old-timey New York accent.
  • The Criminologist ... Kate Mulgrew (Red), with or without Russian accent. I could see her doing it straight up Captain Janeway style.
  • Dr. Scott ... Barbara Rosenblat (Rosa). I'm not sure if I'm making the connection because of the invalid blanket or the hard-to-place accent, but I want to see what she does with the role.
  • Eddie ... Lea Delaria (Big Boo), or, to preserve the onscreen relationship with Columbia/Morello, Natasha Lyonne (Nicky). Either one could capture Eddie's belt-buckled, rock'n'roll machismo.
Even if I had the entire universe of actors from which to choose for my cast, I would be pretty happy with this line-up! I might only make a few slight edits, such as Brad being played by the dad from Modern Family and maybe Columbia being Willam. 


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